Bits And Pieces

So when I did make it to MS during Spring Break, after 7 hours in the van with the kiddos, I had to get away from them!

Mom and I headed to the late show and found one interesting movie in the line up: The Univited.

I figured: predictible, teenage horror, blah, blah, blah.

It turned out to be pretty good. Good special effects actually scared me a couple of times even though I knew it was coming.

But I really loved the story. Jaded as I am in this genre, and even though I got the twist way sooner than everyone else, I really enjoyed this movie.

So rent it or find it online for a little distraction from the mundane.

Posted by Melissa at 3:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

One of my resolutions this year is to keep these things updated and actually communicate with the wonderful friends that I have.

Of course, it's April and what have I actually done....?

Posted by Melissa at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dig the pretty newness of my blog. I love just looking at it. It makes me happy and want to procrastinate so much more.

On to playing with PowerPoint!

Posted by Melissa at 9:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Isn't it odd that some people really keep up with their blogs and even update several times a day and some people only update once in a long while?

Well, it's not like anyone's reading this, right?

Posted by Melissa at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

OMG! its bn 3 mos since my lst pst. tht sx bg tm!

Remember way back when you were growing up and VCRs were new? The big joke was that the kids could program it to record better than the parents who’d bought it. It was like that at my house, too. Which led me, a girl, to be more technologically-minded than even some of my male peers.

Computers came easy, too. For a while, there I was on a super track to success in the technological world. I had some basic programming skills, excellent word processing skills (even without spellcheck!) and could even take apart a computer and add hardware.

But then, two things happened: 1) I didn’t own or have access to a computer more than minimally for ten years and 2) the technological world zoomed past and left me so far back I couldn’t even see the dust.

Now, I feel very much like my parents with the VCR. My four-year-old is adept with the DVD player and DVR remote. OK, so I am the one who hooks up everything, the one who shows my husband the tips and tricks to using a cell phone to its fullest potential, and the one who loads the MP3 players with songs, pics and video. So what? I’m the parent who, in a few years’ time, will be the one wondering what the hell my son is texting to me.

What kills me, is that I’m not that far removed from the Net generation. Gen X is the one who came up with most of this stuff. (Still can’t figure out Gen Y’s contribution.)

So, as a student of linguistics, I’m interested in this phenomenon. But as a child of the father who stressed “proper” grammar, I’m struggling. Part of me can study textlingo with objectivity and understand (even if it is hard sometimes) that there are no “improper” languages only dialects. Another part of me screams, cut it out! Capitalize the damn “I,” it’s not that hard.

I take pride in the personal choice not to degrade myself with completely random spellings and proper punctuation. I still feel as if I am not true to myself if I get lazy when texting or IMing, which, of course, leads to lengthy communiqué. So what, I’m different and proud to be so. However, perhaps it is time to learn a new language.

This objectivity doesn’t keep me from being appalled at the liberties these little teeny-boppers are taking with the language. Plus, the fact that some teachers are allowing this stuff in papers really ticks me off. If we are to allow this new writing system, can’t we make it understood that there is a time and a place?

Perhaps we as parents and teachers should stress the art of writing to the audience while honing the skills it takes to fit in. You know, “proper” (standardized) grammar when say, talking to a judge. And that it’s OK to use expletives with your peers, but not their parents.

Here’s a question for all those liberals out there: Would this emphasis put too much pressure on kids just finding themselves? Or is the chameleon-like flexibility a good skill to teach? Is this asking too much from parents who “don’t have time” to really teach their kids?

Posted by Melissa at 1:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Old photos turn up in the strangest places.... One day, my past in photos will be organized. Until then… remember when?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tjmsines/

Posted by Melissa at 5:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

OK, I have relied way too much on quizzes to fill this thing lately. While pretty entertaining for an afternoon, I simply do not play every single day. Some days I've spent completely on one assignment or another. I'm a little anal when it comes to homework. But then, since I started back, I've been anal on anything related to school to the detriment of housework. But I've been rewarded by my single-mindedness. Honors College, Dean's List, and recently a scholarship. Back in high school, I never would have imagined.

And I might say this way too often but Thomas is a spectacular husband. The picture of the flowers from our anniversary? Yes, well, he delivered them to class that night along with a basket of bath-time spoilers and (to me) gourmet chocolates. Am I spoiled? Hell, yes. There is nothing in my life before Thomas that would explain why I have be so very rewarded.

What do I do for him? Well, I make him read my stories now. Before this semester I wouldn't let him touch them. His opinion means that much to me. But somehow I have transitioned from thinking of my stories as extremely revealing parts of me to thinking: "Wow, this is fun! No wonder I like doing this so much."

Learning to loosen up has helped me so much. Poor Thomas, having to repeat this so many times in so many different ways for so very long before I finally hear him and actually change my way of thinking. I'm still learning what I need to be anal about and what I can relax about. But I know I'm on the right track.

But…I have to figure out a way to let him know how much I appreciate him.

Posted by Melissa at 2:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I have strange dreams. I harness them; write down what I can remember and eventually, they turn into a story. Granted most of the time the story doesn't come close to the actual dream. The story usually ends up with only the faintest symbolic reference to the actual twisted “reality” of the dream.

Also, I’ve already gone through a bunch of dream research and have come to the conclusion that dreams really are a way for the subconscious to work out the issues in your life, past or present. For instance, the setting in many of my dreams for a very long time was my high school. (Yes, in the dream way it was surreal with places that didn’t exist and ways to move around that are impossible.) I thought that represented a deep seated longing for my past life. I accepted it and moved on. Then, Thomas mentioned that it could be something unfinished in my life. I accepted that and moved on, making note that when I started college for the second time, those high school dreams almost ceased to exist. Now they are typical anxiety dreams: can’t find the class on the day of finals, insulting the teacher to the point that he/she flunks me on that basis alone….blah, blah, blah. Truth is, many dreams are uninteresting.

Take the one I had last night. There is no way to make it into a real story. There really is no way to make it enjoyable for anyone but me. And I’m weird.

I worked in a shop that supposedly sold high-quality pottery. But the prices were inhibitive; I’d only seen people come in a browse. This was my day job. By night I worked in a bar cleaning up. The owner liked me so much she gave me a couple of costumes. (I don’t know where they came from, but they were appropriate only in the bedroom!)

At the day job, the day people and the night people were supposed to be competing in a “talent” thing to take away the boredom of constantly dusting and not selling. The boss didn’t seem worried that we day people had only the barest of ideas of what we were going to do. We all hustled back to the break room and on the way I overheard him mutter something about one of the bowls on a glass shelf. Something about “Much better than an actual museum, but no one can ever know that this bowl served a magician in the Early Byzantine Era.”

Apparently we were simply taking care of priceless artifacts and never supposed to sell anything!

He had high quality surveillance and security measures on a place where anyone could walk in a just take something priceless. But we used it to watch the night people practice their routine for the stupid talent thing.

See there is a grain of something. But nothing realistic.

If I were to analyze, I’d say that I’ve been reading too much historical anthropology, watching too much of the History Chanel and most likely agonizing subconsciously over the fact that I haven’t had a real job since the mid 90s.

Most of the very interesting things I dream about come after watching too much Dr. Who, ER and Charmed. Mix those all together within the mystical confines of my head and it turns out really weird. Especially when there’s a character strongly reminiscent of Chandler from Friends.

Posted by Melissa at 7:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So in some people's mind, I'm a great cook and housekeeper. Coming from a very traditional home in the south, normally the assumption would be right. My mom taught me all the basics: how to read a recipe, how to get crayon off the wall and that dusting was an essential weekend activity. She even bolstered her teaching by insisting on two years of Home Ec. in high school. (I didn't learn anything new. I even helped the teacher when we were sewing; making the required skirt and a top to go with it.)

But when it comes to actually taking care of my home, I suck. There's not enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Laundry piles up on the sofa begging to be folded. The dining room floor is far from sparkling. I've got boxes piled up with stuff to put away.

I'm a stay-at-home mom. I'm home all day except for when I go to classes at night (4 nights a week this semester). You'd think that I had too much time on my hands. Well, add procrastination to general laziness and preference for school work as opposed to cleaning the toliet and you get a home that is very unlike the one I grew up in.

But I'm doing exceptionally well in school and the doctorate doesn't seem out of reach. My husband has a friend who's ex-wife had more education. She threw it in his face every chance she got. Even though Thomas knows that I would never to that intentionally, he's afraid of how he'd feel anyway: me with Dr. in front of my name and him with not even a Bachelors.

So I tell him that if ever my head grew too big to maintain a healthy relationship he has the pins to deflate me. I once started hotdogs for the kids lunch. I put the hotdogs in the pan, turned on the stove and went to the sink to wash dishes while they cooked....without water. That's our favorite mess up. But I must have something against water.

The other day, I tried to make cupcakes for a party in Tyler's class. The box said that it would make 2 dozen. I barely got a dozen out of it and the batter was hard to get into the pan.

I called Thomas to pick up another box of mix, 'cause obviously either the mix was too old to be on the shelf at the store or I had messed up a boxed mix. (I can bake. I can bake from scratch a pineapple upside down cake, a pumpkin pie and a German chocolate cake. Baking I can do. I'm good at it. How the hell did I mess up a freakin' box mix?) He made me try to figure out what I had done wrong.

I'd added everything, the eggs, the oil...what's this? Oh crap! I forgot the bleepin' water!

Oh, yeah, I'll be the Dr. not the supermom. I'm nothing close to a supermom now. But I have to say, with the kids home from school, studying is pretty much out of the question. I wonder if I'll get up off my backside today and actually do more than just clean up a spilled drink. Maybe I'll make peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches for lunch and leave the hotdogs for tomorrow when Thomas is home.

Posted by Melissa at 8:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I know that I’m a little touched in the head. I’ve known that since my grandmother told me that I was going to be weird if I read books all the time. She also said that I would grow up to be a boring person. I didn’t put much stock in it at the time. At least, I thought I didn’t, But to be able to quote her fifteen years later….?

Well, then came high school and yearbooks…Mine was signed by quite a few people even though I thought I was very shy. Over half of those people signed with versions of “You’re strange, but nice.” So yes, even thirteen years after that I’m still considered weird. But at least now, all my friends are “weird” too so it doesn’t really matter.

My point is, I have few dreams in my life: I dream of my kids’ future (kind of hard since I’m not really planning them, but I do have visions of my boys bringing home their friends and doing whatever it is teenage boys will do then. Haven’t gotten to the girl yet. She scares me. Knowing the things I did…) I dream of meeting interesting like-minded students at UNT next fall and breezing through the requirements for a Masters and a Doctorate. I dream of a large enough house that I will not feel claustrophobic when my kids grow taller than me. I dream a lot of normal dreams.

But then, there’s the little one: Sitting anywhere I want with a laptop and writing, studying, doing whatever I want wherever I want with my little computer.

Most people with dreams like this will just go out and buy one. Not me, not my poor family. We suck at money. So coming from MS and a well-paying job to TX and a not-so-well-paying job without any money we should have saved…. Let’s just say we started with nothing.

Seven years later we have three kids, a house, a van, and a truck, a very nice home pc with which I study, do homework and take online classes. This year, in preparation for me going to a major university (finally!) we were able to get the laptop. Now, I have my dream.

I’m sitting in Waffle House doing my homework (well, I was! I just finished for tonight!). I’m so excited!

Unfortunately the wireless signal that I thought I had is not strong enough to actually connect, so I’ll have to post this in the morning.

I just had to share the excitement of actually doing something I’ve literally dreamed of. Yes, it’s a weird dream. Yes, I’m overexcited over something so trivial. But I don’t care. I’ve finally got my laptop!

Posted by Melissa at 8:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Have you ever watched the Discovery channel and seen amid all those “experts” with tons of credentials, the PhD with something lighting up his/her eyes while they’re talking?

These are the people who are not simply regurgitating facts, but seem to be themselves a projection of their topic. They have so much interest, passion and total comprehension that whatever they’ve studied has become a part of them and they have become part of it.

Think of the absent-minded professor always on the verge of something spectacular…

When I think of what I want to spend the rest of my life doing, that’s the feeling that I want. Most of us do, right?

Posted by Melissa at 7:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I go on about Karma and thinking positive and how when things come back to you, if you’re paying attention, you know how and why you deserved it.

Like before we left for MS, I made a trip to Pack and Mail to mail off some Christmas stuff. While I was sitting there patiently waiting for a truck to leave its parking spot so I could get in, a lady swooped in and stole it. So I spent a few minutes cursing like a sailor and sending all kinds of bad Karma into the world. (The woman was a b****. She knew what she was doing and smiled at me in that superior way that would piss off a priest.)

I’ve spent the time since then grumbling about drivers in general who cut you off, speed up to pass then slow down when you get behind them. You know, all the wonderful things that you deal with on a long trip there and back home.

This is me, the not so great driver, but exceptionally polite. I don’t have to get to the stop light before someone else. I let other people who seem to be hurrying have the right away or whatever they need. Then, in return for all this good Karma floating around, I say Thank You to the parking lot angel who gives me a great parking spot right in front of the store.

This is all just a little example. What I’m really getting at is that I didn’t want to travel all the way to MS this year. I didn’t want to drive 7 hours there and 7 hours back with the kids. Halfway there, I thought “This is going to be a sucky trip.” Never mind that it was Christmas and one of my favorite times of the year. I really do love my family and since I moved to TX, Christmas is one of the few times a year that I get to see all of my family and eat all the great food everyone brings. We’re all smiling and having a good time, right? Well, mostly…

Driving into Jackson, I didn’t have the “coming home” feeling. You know the place where you feel most comfortable, where you have good memories and warm fuzzies come to tickle your tummy. That really doesn’t matter, though. I haven’t had that feeling for a while now. But this time, I was very critical. Jackson just looked worn down and dirty. Pearl was worse. The roads made me scared to drive them, they were so bumpy. (Weird, though…I used to like that.)

I’m not saying that where I live is perfectly beautiful. There are plenty of eyesores and bad roads in places here. Even in San Francisco there are places that aren’t exactly postcard material. So why was I so down on MS?

That doesn’t matter either. Those were just my thoughts on the trip. Bad Karma just surrounded me.

And despite the season and how great it was to be with my family the usual problems that happen seemed to escalate. I was so exhausted from all the stuff I do all the time, that I rudely spent two days on the sofa trying to make my body get up and help. I started an argument with my parents that just went way overboard. And I know it’s not my fault, but my cousin and my aunt had the biggest argument Christmas morning. If that’s not bad Karma returning, I don’t know what is.

So is the Karma thing right? Do we send out bad “vibes” and get bad stuff in our lives in proportion to what we’ve thought? Is God punishing us for not thinking Christian thoughts all the time? Or is it all scientifically magical? That mind over matter thing. If you have a certain mindset, that is what you see and feel and respond to and you automatically ignore the other side. (Like when you’re depressed, all you see is negative or when you’re happy, all you see is positive.) Whatever label you put on it, for what reason does this stuff happen if 90% of us don’t even pay attention?

Deep depressing thoughts for what is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. Sorry about that. Just had to get it out. Just wait until my New Year’s Resolutions come up next week.

Oh, and a big MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone, even those who don’t believe in it. ‘Cause we as a people have a mindset that this is the most magical and happy time of the year. Everyone should enjoy it.

Posted by Melissa at 8:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok, I know that I haven't kept up with this well enough. Oh, well, such is life for a mother of three attending college for the second time. The good news is that I made a "A" in both of my summer classes. The bad news is that I'm signing up for five classes in the fall.

I have found that all community colleges are not like HCC in MS. I'm much happier here. I've told my husband, Thomas, that even though it took me a while to realize it, we did move here for a reason. If that reason is that Denton and it's devotion to higher learning (three colleges within ten miles) has become a gateway to a better future for us.

Anyway, the most important thought I've had about this blogging thing in the past month is that I'm not going to think so hard about each entry. I'm just going to let the thoughts come. That's what everyone else does. Maybe once in a great while I'll come up with something really profound. Right now, after the week I've had, nothing springs to mind.

Except that because I couldn't find my size I had to pass on a T-shirt today that was perfect for me. It said, "Not playing with a full deck."

Yep, thats me.

Posted by Melissa at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)