October - November 2007
Halloween was fun this year. We (and by 'we' I mean 'Rich') carved a jack-o-lantern while the kids ran around the room pretending to be dogs. (Remind me again for whom we are doing all this stuff?). Christian dressed up as Batman (big surprise there), Henry was a bee in a black hood with enormous flannel antennae, and Cyrus wore a neon-stitched Frankenstein costume. Cyrus carried the spooky ghost head flashlight for most of the trick-or-treating (or "trick-or-tricking," as Henry called it) until he dropped it to its death as he was riding on dad’s shoulders. We only brought one candy vessel in the hopes of limiting the total volume of candy we could carry, but by house number three Henry had already talked a neighbor into giving him his own plastic grocery bag in which to carry his booty. Later, we visited a haunted house which Henry was sure he wanted to go into . . . until we got into it at which point he started screaming ‘bloody murder.’ He ended up being the scariest thing about the whole house. We read “The Raven” to the kids at bedtime and Christian has been walking around the house squawking “Nevermore” at strange random times for about a week now.
The day after Halloween (which, many of you know is the REAL holiday - All Saints' Day - which begat Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve) we visited an absolutely amazing display of tens of artistically carved pumpkins. The handiwork was truly spectacular, and there was a wide range: Hillary Clinton riding to the White House on her broomstick (Rich's favorite), a replica of Edward Hopper's famous "Nighthawks" painting, and of course sundry unnamed gouls, goblins, and monsters. (Check out http://connectionnewspapers.com/printarticle.asp?article=90353 if you are interested in a local article about Holtorf Pumpkin Carving Association.)
We also celebrated three out of five birthdays in November as Henry, Rich, and Christian’s birthdays fall exactly a week apart. Henry received some books about trucks and machines, a Weebalot castle. (Rich still thinks this is a “girly” toy, but I helped him try to compensate for it by also purchasing a GeoTrax quarry dump truck big boulder construction thing that no self-respecting girly princess would ever deign to play with. I’m still trying to talk “Santa” into buying a dollhouse for the boys for Christmas.) We threw an dinner birthday party for Rich and some of his friends whose birthday also falls on November ninth: Meagan Getz, Janae Huang, and Kevin Palmer. We had great fun guessing events from their childhoods and were entertained with all of Kevin’s run-ins with the law, Rich’s obsession with Act II of Fiddler on the Roof, Meagan’s childhood crushes on David Copperfield and her meeting with Mr. Rogers, and Janae’s ambitions to become a detective and get her dad to stop smoking. Christian received one of the best presents in the world on his birthday: he got an entire cup of root beer at Five Guys Hamburgers. (Keep their expectations low, baby!) He also received a kid camera that takes real digital pictures. For weeks before his birthday, he kept telling everyone that he was going to get one for his birthday as he was under the false impression that you tell your parents what you are going to get for your birthday instead of asking them for it. Subsequent birthdays, I'm sure, will set him straight on this point.
(The next section devolves into cute anecdotes about our children. Of course, 'cute' is definitely a relative adjective so you are more than welcome to quit now if you view our children in a different light.)
One of Christian’s favorite stories recently is a trickster tale called “Raven”. It is about a bird who steals the sun from the sky god and gives it to all the people so they don’t have to live in darkness anymore. One night after reading the story I asked Christian if he thought that what raven did was a good thing or a bad thing. He thought about it for a minute and replied, “I think it was a good thing and a bad thing. I think stealing the sun was a bad thing, but I think sharing the sun with everyone so they wouldn’t be cold was a good thing.” A little philosopher is born.
Christian also may have a career as a stand-up comedian. He loves to walk around the house quoting various stand-up comics (he does a mean Jim Gaffigan "Hot Pocket" routine, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFFTwnYXI20), and when we were in the Orlando airport, we caught him yelling and gesturing while pretending to talk to somebody on a pay phone. When we asked him what he was doing he replied, “I’m in a glass cage of emotion!” He was reenacting that scene from Anchorman where Will Ferrell is trying to tell his coworker that the bad man (played by Jack Black) has just punted his dog off a bridge. Christian’s favorite line which he uses whenever he wants anybody to laugh at him is also from that movie: “It’s so hot out here; milk was a bad choice.” Unfortunately, it was only funny about the first five times he said it.
Christian also has a way with words. He informs us that he only likes orange juice without the “weeds”, reminds us that all the dinosaurs are “obstinct,” refers to the rubber bands he wears around the house like headbands as “loop-de-loops,” and tells us that he is bigger than Henry because his body “instructs” him to get bigger while Henry’s body “instructs” him to stay small. He also is beginning to develop a strange antagonism toward his brain. Whenever he can’t do anything - like remember the words to a song, for example - he tells me that his "brain is being mean" to him. He also still refers to himself in the third person. We just bought him his first power tie; he would wear it to bed if we let him.
Henry has just turned three and is as cute and loveable and maddening as ever. He now corrects us every time we call him Henny: “My name is Hen-WEE!” he says. He says this even as he reserves the right to refer to Christian as “Chrisht.” Whenever he doesn’t want to do or eat something he says, “I can’t like that.” Henry’s favorite meal (his only meal, really) is breakfast, which he refers to as “bress-bress.” Instead of saying yes, he has begun to say “sho”, as in “sho ‘nuff.” I’m not exactly “sho” where he picked that one up.
Henry is also big into dressing himself and can do a pretty decent job even though his pants and underwear are usually on backwards. He is so skinny all of his pants are usually down around his knees anyway. He’s taking low-riders to a whole new level. We finally bought him a belt which doesn’t really help since he also insists on putting it on himself and it ends up passing through two belt loops and circling out in front of him. Unlike Christian who wants to wear a tie every day of the week, Henry won’t even let us button the top button on his shirts and would run naked through the streets if we let him. He thoroughly enjoyed his birthday, and now whenever we say it’s somebody’s birthday he starts singing, “Happy birthday, dear Henry.” Henry has been attending a co-op preschool with some little kids his same age from our church group. He can count to about six or seven, and he knows what letter his name starts with which is really an amazing feat considering the fact that he spends most of the preschool class, when it is held at my house, in time-out.
Henry has become a little bit distracted when it comes to using the bathroom. He gets so interested in playing with his toys that he can’t be bothered to get up and - ahem - use the toilet, but he has been potty-trained long enough to know that he can’t pee his pants. He resolves this dilemma by peeing in his pants just enough to relieve the pressure but not enough to make a real mess, and then he can usually keep the bulk of the remaining liquid at bay for at least another hour or two. This results in a continual wet spot on the front of his pants that makes it really hard to ever take him very seriously. I guess it’s a good enough trade-off in his mind’s eye. We’ll just have to start saving up for his eventual kidney failure.
Cyrus is changing in so many ways every day. He is working on building an extensive vocabulary which includes, dog, pop, light, quack quack (for duck), toot toot (for train) cracker, and cake. He has also mastered his first sentence, “What is it?” which sounds more like “Whazizit” or sometimes “Bzzat”. He points to almost everything and asks what it is. He really loves dogs and can pant and bark like one. He also likes to slide down the slide, scrounge for food, and he HATES to go to bed.
Cyrus has also finally begun to take steps around the house. He is in some ways a cautious kid (he drops down to his knees or bum if he feels like he is losing his balance at all). Ironically enough, however, he also likes to stand at the top of either staircase and see how far he can lean over before he topples down the stairs. He has only fallen down twice, but it hasn’t deterred him from continuing this behavior. At this point, you may be asking yourselves, “Where are his parents?” It is a very good question.
Of all our children Cyrus loves to play peek-a-boo the most. He can be in the most foul mood and if you suggest the game he will immediately forget whatever offense is being committed against him and begin to play. He plays it with blankets, articles of clothing, walls, toys, stuffed animals, books, computer keyboards, you name it. Speaking of playing, Cyrus has begun to get along a little bit better with his brothers, although Henry usually has him in a chokehold of some kind whenever we check on them. Christian seems to enjoy Cyrus’s presence since it provides Henry a new victim upon which to inflict his torture. Again, where are his parents?
That’s it from Crazy Land. We hope you all enjoy the upcoming holiday with family and friends. May the Bumpkis hounds be miles away as you remove your turkey from the oven on Thanksgiving Day, and may your tasteful leg lamp in the window remain intact at least until Christmas Morning.